Pump up the Volume: A 911 Call to Led Zep

2006-05-07T02:43:00.000-07:00

THE ONE

Holy Guacamole! I have just awoken from a month long coma. I don’t remember the month of April, but the pictures tell me that it was filled with Rock n Roll. For example, I have images that indicate the following events occurred: Cliff Jumping, yayo snorting, fist fighting, fist pumping, Chi finding, paradise quenching, puking, smoking, and bomb exploding.

Yet one thing reigns supreme and conquers everything that anyone has done at anytime.

I MET MICK JAGGER...IN LAOS!

Game over. I have nothing else to say, ever.

2006-03-29T21:41:00.000-08:00

Did you know?

The most expensive guitar in the world is a Fender Stratocaster once owned by Eric Clapton. Nicknamed "Blackie", it sold at auction for $959,500. on June 25th, 2004.

In February and March, 1964, The Beatles sold 60% of all the records sold in the U.S.

Carl Perkins, the rockabilly pioneer who wrote Elvis Presley's hit, "Blue Suede Shoes", was a sharecropper's son who learned to play music on a guitar fashioned from a cigar box and broomstick.

Led Zeppelin founder Jimmy Page played as a session guitarist on Tom Jones’ 1965 hit, "It’s Not Unusual".

In a 2005 interview, Billy Joel said that during the recording of "We Are The World", most of the artists didn't like the song, but nobody would say so. Cyndi Lauper thought it sounded like a Pepsi commercial and Billy agreed.

Steppenwolf's lead singer, John Kay is seldom seen without sun glasses due to the fact that he has been legally blind since childhood.

Buddy Holly asked his future wife for a date, 30 seconds after meeting her and proposed later the same week. Six months earlier, he had recorded a song called "Take Your Time".

Songwriter Tommy Durden showed his partner Mae Axton a newspaper story about a suicide victim who had left a one-line note that said "I Walk A Lonely Street". The pair added "Heartbreak Hotel" to the line and in 22 minutes had written Elvis Presley's first million seller.

When Paul McCartney wants to play some of his old Beatles' hits in concert, he must pay a royalty fee to Michael Jackson, who bought the publishing rights for $47.5 million in 1985.

In the first two years after the Beatles fired drummer Pete Best, they would gross over 24 million dollars. Best went to work as a baker, earning 8 pounds a week.

The term "rock and roll", which was black slang for sexual intercourse, appeared on record for the first time in 1922 on Trixie Smith's "My Baby Rocks Me With One Steady Roll".

Performance contracts for the band Van Halen stipulated that they be provided with a supply of M&Ms at every show, but all of the brown ones had to be removed.

Ellas Bates was still in grammar school when classmates started calling him "Bo Diddley". He says he dosen't know why. A bo diddley is actually a one-string, African guitar.

According to producer Mickie Most, The Animals went into a recording studio at 8 A.M. to cut "House Of The Rising Sun" and 15 minutes later, the track was complete. With studio time costing the equivalent of $20 an hour, the song cost $5 to record, but would go on to top both the US and UK charts

Upon meeting the band Pink Floyd for the first time, a record company executive asked them "Which one's Pink?"

Shock rocker Sid Vicious died in February, 1979 from an overdose of heroin that was bought for him by his mother, who was present when he injected it.

When Dennis Edwards of The Temptations first sang "Papa Was A Rolling Stone", he was upset by the line "It Was The Third Of Sepember / That Day I'll Always Remember / 'Cause That Was The Day My Daddy Died", because Edwards father actually did die on September 3rd.

2006-03-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

Definition of Rock n Roll

It has come to my attention (via other peeps comments) that people are confused about what exactly Rock n Roll is. Below are two definitions of the term to help sort out any confusion.

American Heritage Dictionary: A form of popular music arising from and incorporating a variety of musical styles, especially rhythm and blues, country music, and gospel. Originating in the United States in the 1950s, it is characterized by electronically amplified instrumentation, a heavily accented beat, and relatively simple phrase structure.

Life Dictionary: A complete and utter domination of life via kicking people’s asses musically, mentally, politically, spiritually, philosophically and sometimes even physically.

2006-03-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

Time for Another Interview.

The interview this week is with the tongue waving and blood spitting front man of Kiss: Gene Simmons. Read on to find out about his thoughts ranging from the Internet to Intercourse.

Q: With the explosive popularity of the internet in recent years, what are your impressions of it?

A (Gene): I see the internet as a lot of good and a lot of bad. Blogging is fun, but it's often mistaken for having the integrity and journalistic ethics (at least conceptually) that tv and newspapers have. You can sue a TV station and/or a newspaper for slander and falsehoods. You don't seem to have the same rights on the internet. I see blogging as a way for people, who would otherwise not have a voice, to vent. Some good. Some bad. All in all, at the end of the day, I suppose the world is slightly better off with the internet.

Q: If KISS were a new band in today's current music climate, would you have broken as big as you did in the mid-seventies?

A: Hard to say. There are so many other variables. Bands live and die much faster. We've been around 32 glorious years. And, we have no plans of going away. KISS is here to stay. Like it, or not.

Q: The legacy of KISS has influenced many for over three decades; in your opinion what will KISS mean 100 years from now?

A: What KISS will mean 100 years from now may not be all that important. Maybe the most important thing, is that KISS has been a part of people's lives, mine too. Children have been named Beth and Christine. Fans have tattooed their bodies with our faces. Hopefully, the world is a slightly better place because of KISS.

Q: What is your all-time favorite type of woman?

A: My all time favorite type of woman? (I'm sure you all know the answer. All together now...) THE NEXT ONE.

2006-03-27T01:04:00.000-08:00

There are many questions that have plagued man since the beginning of time.

Who killed Kennedy? Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Which is better, a pirate or a ninja? How many mosquitoes does it take to hold up a hand grenade? Who is the greatest Rock n Roll band of all time?

The first four questions are easy (Lee Harvey Oswald, egg, pirate, and 314,000) but deciding on the Greatest Rock n Roll band of all time was particularly troubling to me. To answer this daunting question I began to scour the internet, scholastic articles, and ancient texts for insight. Time and time again the same names constantly came to the fore front. Without further a due here is the list of the top 10 Rock Bands according to everyone but me:

1. The Beatles
2. The Rolling Stones
3. U2
4. The Grateful Dead
5. Velvet Underground
6. Led Zeppelin
7. Ramones
8. Pink Floyd
9. Bob Marley and the Wailers
10. Sly and the Family Stone

A much heated debate will surely ensue after reading this list. Therefore, any and all suggestions and comments are welcomed to help clarify the impossible task at hand.

2006-03-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

There once was a Rock Star journalist who wrote a little essay about life.
Here it is in its entirety. Read, learn, live.

Security
by Hunter S. Thompson.

Security ... what does this word mean in relation to life as we know it today? For the most part, it means safety and freedom from worry. It is said to be the end that all men strive for; but is security a utopian goal or is it another word for rut?

Let us visualize the secure man; and by this term, I mean a man who has settled for financial and personal security for his goal in life. In general, he is a man who has pushed ambition and initiative aside and settled down, so to speak, in a boring, but safe and comfortable rut for the rest of his life. His future is but an extension of his present, and he accepts it as such with a complacent shrug of his shoulders. His ideas and ideals are those of society in general and he is accepted as a respectable, but average and prosaic man. But is he a man? has he any self-respect or pride in himself? How could he, when he has risked nothing and gained nothing? What does he think when he sees his youthful dreams of adventure, accomplishment, travel and romance buried under the cloak of conformity? How does he feel when he realizes that he has barely tasted the meal of life; when he sees the prison he has made for himself in pursuit of the almighty dollar? If he thinks this is all well and good, fine, but think of the tragedy of a man who has sacrificed his freedom on the altar of security, and wishes he could turn back the hands of time. A man is to be pitied who lacked the courage to accept the challenge of freedom and depart from the cushion of security and see life as it is instead of living it second-hand. Life has by-passed this man and he has watched from a secure place, afraid to seek anything better What has he done except to sit and wait for the tomorrow which never comes?

Turn back the pages of history and see the men who have shaped the destiny of the world. Security was never theirs, but they lived rather than existed. Where would the world be if all men had sought security and not taken risks or gambled with their lives on the chance that, if they won, life would be different and richer? It is from the bystanders (who are in the vast majority) that we receive the propaganda that life is not worth living, that life is drudgery, that the ambitions of youth must he laid aside for a life which is but a painful wait for death. These are the ones who squeeze what excitement they can from life out of the imaginations and experiences of others through books and movies. These are the insignificant and forgotten men who preach conformity because it is all they know. These are the men who dream at night of what could have been, but who wake at dawn to take their places at the now-familiar rut and to merely exist through another day. For them, the romance of life is long dead and they are forced to go through the years on a treadmill, cursing their existence, yet afraid to die because of the unknown which faces them after death. They lacked the only true courage: the kind which enables men to face the unknown regardless of the consequences.

As an afterthought, it seems hardly proper to write of life without once mentioning happiness; so we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

2006-03-22T21:50:00.000-08:00

Are Rappers the modern day Rock Star?
Here is some scientific evidence that may support this theory and help showcase that Rappers share a few similar traits to the quintessential Rock Star.

Rappers are over the top.
They wear purple alligator shoes, they drive jet skis in hotel pools, and they spend dollars like they are pesos. This type of behavior directly correlates with the lifestyle of a Rock Star, just with an urban twist.

Rappers are outlaws.
They are consistently in the news for driving drunk, escaping the police via an Escalade, smuggling dope, or at least killing somebody. Rock Star behavior? Indeed. Rock Stars are always in trouble with the law for their outlandish behavior including, smuggling drugs, evading the police, public intoxication, or at least kicking some dude in the neck.

Rappers are controversial.
Their music is loud and crude. Their videos are full of violence and debauchery. They are womanizers. Remind you Rock Star? Yep, almost every single one.

Rappers make music for the new generation.
Remember when Rock n Roll was considered the devils music and that it would corrupt our nation’s innocent children? That is exactly what Rappers and their music is being accused of today. Teenagers today are gobbling up Rap music likes its crack. This kind of feeding frenzy parallels with that of Beattle Mania and Zep-a-frantica

Rappers have influenced the entire country.
When you see a commercial for McDonalds with breakdancers, graffiti artists, and someone rapping about a McChicken sandwich, you know that rap is much more than just a music genre. Much like Rock n Roll in its prime, rap has evolved to influence all aspects of American culture. From the way we dress, act, talk, and even think, Rappers have changed the way many Americans function within our society.

2006-03-22T00:53:00.000-08:00

Who Ever Said that Rock Stars are Ugly?

The fact that these dudes had thousands of female adoring fans is a strong testament to the power of bone crushing riffs, ear splitting drum beats, and the swagger and confidence that is only found in a Rock n Roll front man.

2006-03-15T23:35:00.000-08:00

There is nothing to say about this post. Its like Shakespeare, but with a message:

Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do...

Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Got no time to for spreadin' roots, The time has come to be gone.
And to' our health we drank a thousand times, it's time to Ramble On.

2006-03-10T00:48:00.000-08:00

I was reading an article when I came across an interesting quote from Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones. When asked what he does to keep in shape, he replied, “pass the vodka bottle around and play the guitar”. This made me realize that Rock stars and Rock n Roll aficionados probably have great insight on the world around us. Below is a small collection of quotes from the diamond minds of Rock n Roll. Enjoy.

“I don't even know my own phone number.” - Axl Rose (Guns N' Roses)

“I never thought I was wasted, but I probably was” - Keith Richards

“If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!” -Kurt Cobain

“I'm pro-heterosexual. I can't get enough of women. I have sex as often as possible...It's not easy to be in a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” - Axl Rose

“When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.” - Larry lujack

“It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere.”- Keith Richards

“Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world.”- Peter York

“Rock and roll music - the music of freedom frightens people and unleashes all manner of conservative defense mechanisms” - Salman Rushdie

“The king is the man who can.”- Keith Richards

“Lose your dreams and you might lose your mind.”- Mick Jagger

2006-02-23T00:37:00.000-08:00

What I learned today

1. Adaptation overrules Preparation every time.
2. People do things
3. Papayas can decrease sex drive
4. Most sports were way cooler and tougher in the 70’s
5. If you made it this far down the list you can consider yourself “in the middle”
6. Your health is your wealth
7. Each generation is a little softer
8. Someone, somewhere, is doing something that is insane. Right now
9. Life is life
10. Goonies never say die

2006-02-22T00:09:00.000-08:00

Viewing the Introspection.
A (short) Interview with the Infamous Angus Young

ME: So how are things?

AY: Don’t ask stupid questions

ME: Sorry?

AY: Is that an apology or a question. Don’t apologize for asking a stupid question, but never question an apology. Get my drift

ME: Yes Sir, so what do you say to someone who is just starting band?

AY: Sometimes… no wait. Every time, you got to put yourself on the line. I mean, Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes that every one liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.

ME: What was your childhood like? Are there any particular experience you can point to that inspired you to pursue a career in Rock n Roll?

AY: Pursue a career in Rock n Roll? First, Rock n Roll is not a career it’s a life style, a mindset, a revolution. Idiot. Secondly, I did not pursue Rock n Rock. You can’t chase after Rock n Roll like it’s a dog off a leash, or a goal with an ending like becoming a lawyer. Because really once you’re a lawyer, that’s the end. You’re finished. So, to answer your question I just walked the line of the greats. Abraham Lincoln, Chairman Mao, Neil Armstrong. These are the people who highlighted their strengths, conquered their weaknesses, and as a result solidified their desires while crushing their fears.

ME: Wow, it sounds like you really know what you are talking about. You are straight up busting out some Jedi mind tricks

AY: What?

ME: Nothing

AY: That’s what I thought. I’m sick of this interview. I gonna go jump off a 90 foot cliff into a pool of dollar bills, naked, with Roman Candles in my hands. Seriously, watch me.

2006-02-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

Current Day Celebrity Rock Stars

1. Puff Daddy- he invented the remix, owns half of New York, and runs Marathons. He doesn't take no for and answer, his company is named Bad Boy, and he even made songs with Jimmy Page and Sting. He is over the top, and he won't stop because he can't stop.

2. Jack Black- No other celebrity celebrates the joys and pains of Rock n Roll more than Jack Black. Every character he plays exudes a rock aura that rivals all other actors on the silver screen. He starred in a movie that is all about rocking, "School of Rock". He also fronts his own rock band who wrote the “greatest song in the world”.

3. Richard Branson- He is ugly, rich, and is trying to fly to space. He has attempted to circumnavigate around the globe in a balloon and holds the record for the fastest flight over the Atlantic. He also “owns” the Rolling Stones. Can’t get much more Rockstar than that.

4. Bobby Brown, Courtney Love, etc. - Anyone who is a train wreck 90% of the time possesses some serious Rock n Roll clout. There is nothing more entertaining, liberating, or human than someone displaying their miserable down fall, repeatedly.

5. The One and Only Mick Jagger – Still going oh so Strong. Enough said.

2006-02-19T19:49:00.000-08:00

Top 5 Trends That Could Use a Sprinkle of Rock N Roll

1. Fashion: Who ever said, “pink is the new black” needs to kick out some jams, utilize graphics that involve snakes, scorpions, dragons, or Lightening bolts, and use colors that are not named after a type of fish (i.e. Salmon).

2. “Reality” T.V.: Although some of the reality television shows “pump up the volume” on occasion, the majority are based on silly dating scenarios or contrived competitions. T.V. needs more explosions, barroom brawls, car chases, and way more fireworks. Basically, Mr. T and the A-Team need to make a comeback.

3. Terrorists: Yes, it’s true. I said it. Terrorism is sooooo not Rock n Roll. Unfortunately, the reality is that we live in a time of constant global tension. Yet, there is nothing worse than a terrorist attempting to “Go Big AND Go Home” simultaneously. Talk about looking goofy and representing the animal which is the Antithesis of Rock N Roll, the weasel. Terrorists need to understand that to earn any kind of merit they need to stop living a life that fails the test of Rock n Roll.

4. Music Videos: Television is loaded with music videos depicting scantily clad teenage girls, nice cars, and love themes. I mean, COOMMMEEE ON! At least one band needs to make a music video involving: tigers, swords, mountain tops, guitar solos, magic, busting down doors, and pounding beers.

5. Internet Social Services: http://www.myspace.com/, http://www.thefacebook.com/, etc. are reducing Americans to slime and crumbs. If you are a member of these sites, please click here. Never before has the internet manifested its consequences into real life problems in the way it has with these social networks. These websites are creating a type of social pornography that leaves the socially inept feeling even more empty and alone. If you are looking to find love on the internet then skip the hassle and just register at http://www.eharmony.com/. If you are looking to make friends or better your social life, then all you need to do is call someone or go play outside.

2006-02-08T23:56:00.000-08:00

Sound the Alarms. We are heading to a place of a great nothingness and despair. The current state of music is in desperate need of a shot of adrenaline. We need a shot of rock n roll into the weak and puny arms of current day rock bands. We need a shot of the Led Zeppelin mentality back into our stream of consciousness.

We need to pump up the volume on the stereo of life. We need to resurrect the rock and roll philosophy that is required to stimulate the greatness within us all. We need to put the Rock back into Rock n Roll. Let us rally the troops against the passive and weak willed. Let us celebrate life as it should be lived.